Saturday, July 7, 2012

Turning the other cheek on advice?

As a first-time mama-to-be, I’ve been getting hit with all kinds of suggestions and advice lately…whether I ask to hear them or not.

I know it’s not just me either.

Generally speaking, other women, especially other moms really do have the best of intentions when they start proffering unsolicited tips. I am sure of this.

But that doesn’t mean us ladies on the other side of the advice, us first-timers, want to hear how we’re going to react as parents when the time comes and X,Y, and Z happen…am I right?

I think for me personally, statements of that nature rub me wrong in the worst terrible way… much more so than a friendly suggestion.

To use a favorite term of mine (and my family!), this might be my first rodeo  as far as mothering goes…but supposing to know the reaction of another human being in regards to something as special and intimate as raising their children?

I can’t think of anything more offensive and ridiculous.

I don’t want to come off as this arrogant creature that’s entering the parenting experience with her nose in the air and supposing I know it all already…I’m sure I’ll have my fair share of hysterical midnight calls to my Mother in the next year!

But it’s all about balance, I guess.

Suggestions and advice when requested are amazing in life.

When they feel forced, not so much.

Have any of you ladies out there had the same experience? As first-time mothers? Or 
any new life – situation?

How did you deal with hearing people dictate to you exactly how you would react to something new?

Not to flame anyone specifically, or get into it too deep, but I think that the thing that 

I’ve heard (a few different times actually!) that has been bugging me the most, is about our pets…our pets and parenting.

Again, these comments might not be delivered with malicious intent, but someone telling me (jokingly even!) that after our baby is born, we’ll totally forget about our pets, and/or end up getting rid of them…

It has literally brought me to tears.

I might be becoming a mother for the first time to my own child, but these little furry ones have been my ‘children’ since the day I first laid eyes on them. 

Would you get rid of these little monsters? Exactly.

And I would never send them away. Ever.

Would you send away your first child when your second came into the household? Just because the transition was difficult, or it would be easier with just the one baby?

Of course not, that’s obviously ridiculous…and potentially hurtful to imply to a person.

But I’ve heard just that. More than once. And that’s exactly how it made me felt; like this person(s) had implied that I’m the kind of person that would send a child away when a new one comes home.

I’ve never snapped at a person for comments like this, even if they brought me to tears later on…but it hasn’t been easy, people. Even those token ‘well you better sleep now, you definitely won’t once that baby comes!’ comments aren’t hitting me easily these days…

Anyone else with me on this one?

I’d love to hear any commiserating that you lovely readers would have to offer!

And as always, have an amazing, blessed weekend, darlings!